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Holiday Reflections from Sage Hill School
With finals around the corner, many Sage Hill students are trying to balance school-related stress with holiday joy. In his latest blog post, Sage Hill President Gordon McNeill has some thoughts for parents on ways to restore some sanity to the season.
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December, when you have young children, is all about holiday festivities and plans for winter break. December, when you have a high school student, takes on a whole new dimension with final exams, papers and projects due. If you have a senior, the pressure can be even worse with college applications and the impending sense of both hope and fear while awaiting decisions. This post is for the students and parents in our community who may feel trapped in the tunnel of finals and college acceptances, that deep, dark place where it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.
Step back. Take a wide view. Try to gain a new perspective on the seemingly huge implications of a disappointing grade in a class or a denial of admission to any particular college. It is especially incumbent upon parents to help reduce the enormous stress on our students at this time of year. One of our advisors told me she asked her group of sophomores what they are most excited about this holiday season. They looked at her like she had no idea what was going on in their lives. The advisor realized her students were in survival mode, not celebration mode. These 15- and 16-year-olds couldn’t yet feel excited about the holidays because they couldn’t see beyond the papers, final exams, and other tasks they must accomplish between now and winter break.
Perhaps the best holiday gift you can give your teen is to help them feel they are more than their grades and their college acceptances. They need your support and your caring. Make sure they take time these next few weeks to do the things they enjoy, whether that’s attending an upcoming performance at Sage Hill, participating in family holiday rituals, or just hanging out with friends. The point is, teens need balance, and we adults need to promote that balance. We say it all the time here at Sage Hill: Students should not spend four years focusing solely on what will get them a good grade or build a good resume to get them into a good college. We want them to enjoy, thrive, and grow a sense of self and purpose.
In a highly controversial New Republic article, “Don’t Send your Kid to the Ivy League,” former Yale professor William Deresiewicz writes about a generation of students who appear highly accomplished and capable on the surface, but lack critical thinking skills, intellectual curiosity, and a sense of purpose. Even if you don’t agree with everything Deresiewicz says, you must agree it’s concerning to hear him report observing “toxic levels of fear, anxiety, and depression, of emptiness and aimlessness and isolation” amongst his students. In a nutshell, he believes this stems from an over-focus on the endpoint (college admission, future job) and too little focus on the process. It robs our young people of truly embracing the enriching slice of their lives in high school and college.
For our freshman parents, this is the first holiday season since your child became a Sage Hill student. For our senior parents, this will be the last before sending your Sage Hill graduate off to college. No matter where your student is in his or her Sage Hill journey, I hope you will spend these next few weeks reflecting on first semester, setting realistic, attainable goals for the New Year, and celebrating your student’s accomplishments this year. Hold them close and maybe even bake some cookies.
Sage Hill School
Sage Hill School admits students of any race, color, national and ethnic origin to all the rights, privileges, programs and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the School. The School does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national and ethnic origin in administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, scholarship programs, and athletic and other School administered programs.